I am notoriously bad about excessive nickname use. I have a nickname for most of my girlfriends, the majority of my coworkers and all of my (and my friends') ex-boyfriends. All nicknames are cleverly crafted to reflect the true essence of the person to which they attach and most would probably get me get me sued for intentional infliction of emotional distress if anyone but me and my inner circle knew about them.
Now, normally these nicknames are harmless and exist for the sole purpose of giving me and my friends something to laugh hysterically about over wine; but they have been known, on occasion, to come back and bite me on the ass. Unfortunately for me, one such occasion was just this past weekend. I was out for drinks Friday night with friends when I saw this attorney from my office that I've lovingly dubbed: Douchebaggins. Generally speaking, Douchebaggings is a nice guy; he's just a loser with no friends that has the terrible misfortune of bearing a striking resemblance to Bilbo Baggins from the Lord of the Rings movies (I know this reference makes me a loser too but I really don't care).
I tend to feel sorry for the guy, so I invited him to join us for a drink. That was when things went really, really bad. "Hey there! This is my friend Elizabeth. Elizabeth, this is Douc...um...ummmmm...uhhh." Oh my god, I can't remember his real name. What is it? notdouchebagginsnotdouchebaggins. I was totally frizzing out. Thankfully he stepped in and introduced himself but the damage was already done. Thanks a lot brain. I tried to play it off like I had just had too much to drink and totally blanked out but I could tell he wasn't buying it. For a split second, I felt really bad. Then I realized, this is Douchebaggins. What do I care if he thinks I'm the biggest bitch on the planet? Can I get another glass of wine?
XOXO,
BlogMePretty
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All I could think after the first line of this post - DG. So Terrible. And, yes, I have no idea what his real name actually is.
ReplyDeleteUmmmm...Jason Steinley (or Spivley or something)
ReplyDeleteSpeaking of which, do you remember HIS blog talking about how much he hated all of us??
DG was probably my greatest nickname accomplishment ever.