When I got home from work last night my house seriously felt (and smelled) like a cheap disgusting sauna. Both of my dogs were panting like crazy and giving me the stink eye for leaving them in that hot hell-hole all day. So I do what I always do when the house gets too hot, open a window and put the attic fan to work. I refuse to use the A.C. yet because 1) it's only April and it's beautiful out, and 2) I need that electric bill money for some other ridiculous frivolity (the real reason being the latter). I had some friends coming over to drink a couple glasses (bottles) of wine with me, so I just let the fan run while we enjoyed the patio weather (See, I told you. Patio > Allergies).
Ok, cut to two hours later. I clean everything up and head inside. Hmmmm, why do my countertops look so strange. I touch them. God, they feel gritty, gross! I would swear I just cleaned them. Then I'm struck with the horrifying realization of what that is all over my countertops. Pollen. Tons of yellow toxic dust is literally coating every inch of my house. It is everywhere. F**K me! The stupid attic fan sucked it in and distributed it over everything I own. Oh my god, my closet doors were open. My clothes. Oh god, I can't breathe. Too much pollen in the air. Why did I fire my maid!?
What am I going to do about this? I was exhausted so I decided it sleep on it (it, being a layer of pollen). I woke up this morning and (after I pried my pollenetically sealed eyes open) think I've come to the only rational decision. My maid is getting re-hired. Today.
XOXO,
BlogMePretty
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